Disclaimer

This little blog is on hold for right now. You can come and meet me at Shirley Twofeathers, if you'd like. One day, when I do actually start to SELL my art online, or when I begin to actively TAKE the steps necessary to begin to get it sold, I'll come back and document places, processes, and ideas that work for me. In the mean time, come and see me at Shirley Twofeathers, or visit Mandala Madness, or check out Green Dolphin Studio. And whatever you do, have a great day!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I Crucify Myself

I Crucify Myself a Thousand Times

I crucify myself
a thousand times every day
I keep thinking
that
I'll cut it out
but I don't
there is all this extra baggage
and unfinished business
and this nebulous thing about
"being nice"
even when
I'm trying to be pointed and honest
strings are attached
I forgive them and then
forget to forgive
myself
this is my crown of thorns
my Crown Royal
and this is where
I stab myself
in the back
driving the point home
just literally pounding it in
is this really me
or do I still have my blinders
on shattering self images
counting down the years
time is running out
burning the candle
at both ends i'm trying to get a
handle on it
I want to be "good"
I want to get all my shit
into one small bag
I want that last piece
of the puzzle to slide
easily into place
and is that once in a blue moon
pie in the sky happily ever after
magical thinking
did i make my bed and now
i have to lie in it
feels deeply rooted
am I still a girl fragile
easily shattered
or just an old hag
with a bunch of screws loose
this is my slippery slope
the not so soft place
where I land
the quick sand I thrash around in
every day

-Barbie


Like it?
See the slide show at Green Dolphin Studio or visit a complete set of photos at Flickr.
This piece, by the way, has been sold.

2 comments:

Tomas Karkalas said...

Hi!
Wholeheartedly.
Wow,let's dream over a cup of coffee.
I want to say so much - the silence around just burst - or how should I say in English?
I visited just few of your blogs and -
is it not a dream?
Wow!
THANK YOU.
Are we the friends?
Hi!
My best wishes - the best -
Peace and love

Two Feathers said...

Yes.. we are friends tomas. Thank you for visiting. Best wishes to you as well. And peace. And love.

Slide Show